I haven't posted in a while, writing like his, unless you'r really good can seem so self-indulgant. I am thinking maybe I need to brush up on my writing skills, but  I will be back, periodicly to check in. **If you are reading this and you are a mother that would like to comment, please do so!**

Indigo Adults

I had a great 35th birthday, though I couldn't help but being amazed that is was ME that was turning 35! I had a wonderful dinner with my sisters and boyfriend and then we gambled about about $800 between everyone! I was winning but I sat down at one of those simulated table games after 2 beers, champagne and a nice big margarita! I ended up unknowingly betting away all but $30 of the $150 dollars I had on my ticket...what happened to the days when the machines spat out real cash! I am sure I am not the first tipsy to blow her money like that! I felt like a total idiot, especially because Mark (my boyfriend) witnessed it!

It was great to be out to dinner with my sister Kerry, she is a pretty, elegant lady. She perfectly accessorises each classy outfit outfit with just the right style of jewelry. She has no children but she has a Beautiful Chocolate Lab straight from an L.L Bean catalog. I wish I could be more like her.

The Limitations of an Unscheduled Life

Why is it that I can never get anything done before 2:30 or 3'o clock? I am just not a morning person and then just as I get going it's time to pick up my daughter and make an early dinner for my boyfriend. Since he goes to work at 5 am & my daughter is always "starving" when she gets home,we usually eat by 4:30 in the afternoon.

So, this groggy morning time just ends up a waste unless I get up and shower right away...maybe
that is what I will start doing? I am terrible at time management & that has had a huge impact on my life.

I should enjoy this non-scheduled time, but I can't help but feel as though I waste it although I get the housework done & I keep an eye on my son, sometimes even successfully getting him to use the toilet. My son will start Pre-K this coming September, officially marking an end to an era that I am not quite sure what to name? The "Motherhood Rabbit Hole" comes to mind,as Uma Thurman calls the pre-schooler raising period in "Motherhood"-a great movie as well an an inspiration for my blog....you have Uma to thank! :)

Happy Easter....

I love Easter.  Especially when Easter is in April. In fact, I think April is my favorite month.  To me, nothing beats those neon green first shoots of grass, seeing that your perennials have survived another winter when you rake your garden on that first warm afternoon. Life is back.
Ironically...I found out about the death of a young Man over in Afghanistan yesterday.  I didn't know him but he was good friends with my nephew. They are in the same Platoon. It's scary to think how old men really belive that our bright, young kids can somehow rid the world of terrorism. Are any of these deaths justified as the war creeps into it's seventh year?

About to do some thrift shopping....

I don't have much time today but I am about to do some thrift shopping at my favorite spot... Main Street in Ephrata, PA.  Re-Uzit and Abundant Treasures have an awesome selection-especially for kids.  I have yet to leave either store empty handed and I am pretty selective-I don't like a lot of closet clutter.
I don't have much time, I have to help with my daughter's egg hunt at 1:45-better get in gear!

Troll Toes....laughing uncontrollably

Last night I laughed as hard as I can remember laughing for a long time!
I was remembering my massage instructor telling us to beware of "troll toes".  I was recalling this because of the very long toes with unclipped, yellowish nails that I have seen recently.  There was one other student who found my thoughts as funny as I did, because he was also familiar with this poor soul's feet. We just could not stop laughing at the thought of a real troll coming in for a foot massage...It's just so great to laugh uncontrollably, it's one of the best feelings you can have, I believe.

I can get Satisfaction!

I feel very satisfied, just finished up a group of family photos for a friend.  I feel tremendous satisfaction when I complete artistic projects.  I haven't done anything even remotely artistic, other then color with my kids in quite a while. I have a bunch of non artistic things to do though that have been piling up, so I'd better get those done too.
How are you today?

Rainy Monday

It's a rainy Monday here in South Eastern PA, but the temp is warming up quite nicely. I will probably have to cut my grass on the next sunny day. I love to cut the grass, it gives me great satisfaction and  no one bothers you the whole time you're doing it! I am trying to fill my mind with happy thoughts because between being broke, the 15 pounds I need to lose, my looming anatomy test, my Dad's aneurism in his aorta, & this dark weather, I am quite depressed.  just have to keep looking at my daffodils and violas that I have planted and know that the sun will return to my life again. I was telling my boyfriend yesterday that depression is like being a prisoner within the walls of your dark thoughts.  Not quite sure if he understood, but I liked the analogy even if it is somewhat cliche.

the weekend....

I am trying to motivate myself to get things done today, which is next to impossible with my three year old home...

Blogging to myself....lol

I am staring to think this will be more like a journal excercise...how do you get followers anyhow?
not that I think I am a great writer or looking for fame, but I am thinking this might get interesting at least.  I was looking at Motherhood blogs yesterday and I felt like they had nothing in common with anything I wanted to say.  I want to talk about what it is really like to be the Mom, the Cheerleader of the family. Yes, although I am divorced  I don't consider myself a "single mom"-just "a mom" and my family is not a "single parent family" it is a "family".

I am getting my children ready to go with their father for the weekend and I will have some time to "Journal" later.
I'd better go, he was nice enough to take them a few hours early and then I will have time to come home and look for missing things.

Life is so graceful (...sometimes)

As we were walking in my back yard today, my son said to me "Life is so graceful here", normally he is either singing,yelling, refusing to do something or demanding something so this struck me as particularly moving.

About me

Well, here I am doing something so self-serving as blogging, when I can barely find time to drink a cup of coffee, take a shower or make the beds! What would my mother think?

I will turn 35 in the next month and I have two children. My 6 year old girl(who got out of school at NOON today ) and my boy, he turned 3 in October. I have finished about 3/4 of a bachelor's degree and then had my son, I thought I would take a few months off! Well, I separated from my husband when my son was 8 months old and have not gone back.

The divorce was for the best. There is no way me and Daddy were going to make it for the long haul. In fact I am not quite sure exactly why I eloped with him to Elkton MD in the first place? Maybe because I was 26 and had credit card debt? No, that's not all, I loved him and thought I could help him. I did help him, in a way I suppose. He is remarrying in May and the woman is what I would consider to be much closer to what he actually needs then I was. We get along when we don't talk about money and the kids see their Father is what I am trying to say.

I go to night school and I am getting my massage license, hopefully some time in August.

I never knew that the people who were massaging you had to know so much, I thought it would be all "hands on" learning...I am not sure if that pun was intended or not.

Well, as I approach 35 I am thinking about the words of my therapist....to paraphrase; 35 is the onset of the mid-life crisis for women in which we will think "Do I want to be doing what I am doing now for the next 30 years" & "Do I want to continue on this road?"

The surprising thing is, she is right....I am thinking these things! This justifies her fee of $120/hr, (she only charges me $75). It's like I am having someone explain a really interesting novel to me and ( ta-da!) the novel is me. This woman knows so much...about me! I want to read the next chapter, even if it costs as much as a really fantastic haircut & color.